HollaBackBoston - So you can be hot AND safe

Done, for now

2009-01-01T11:30:00.002-05:00

No, street harassment in this city is not done or over - especially in these chilly months - but we are...

We, the administrators of HollaBackBoston.com, are taking a break from this site. Our lives have taken different paths in the professional, personal, and political spheres, and we wanted to state as much here publicly rather than prolong this virtual silence.

We remain vigilantes about women's rights - especially the right to be really seen in this world, particularly without objectification. And we're committed to continuing our work to surface, highlight, and transform the realities that keep us from our own liberation.

We urge you to never forget conversations about power are happening in real time, all over the globe, between those of all races and classes. Engage them.

HollaBackBoston.com will remain open, and we will continue to post stories and experiences as they come to us.

In solidarity,
Brittany Shoot & Hilary Allen

I love them, thanks.

2008-06-30T12:57:00.000-04:00

Stuck in stupid traffic in Allston today, I've got my car windows down because my AC is busted and no money in sight to fix it. I'm chilling at a red light when some guy who I didn't even bother to look at screams from his truck into my car, "DO YOU LIKE THOSE BOOBS?!" 1. Uh, yes, they're mine, and lucky for me, I don't hate my body. 2. Why, do you? Cause it doesn't matter, fuckface. 3. There are better ways to engage me. Screaming from your car is never. going. to. work.

Walking on green

2008-06-07T14:57:00.002-04:00

I was walking on Friday with a good friend from around the Chinatown/Boylston T stop area to Kenmore. We wanted to walk and talk after dinner downtown so made our way along the T path, above ground, and we would eventually go our separate train lines home from Kenmore.

Multiple times, particularly along Boylston street parallel to Newbury, we were accosted. Once, a man with a cup asking for money literally cornered my friend while I scooted out of the way. She got away, but not before having him get in her face and physically block her path.

We also ran into a variety of male post-game Sox celebrants who thought that because we didn't move off the sidewalk that they were completely taking over, we were worth all sorts of demeaning names. My favorite was the simple but loud "WHORE!" we got after passing an enormous group of guys who practically bumped us into the busy street.

Maybe I should be used to it by now, but I never quite get over how unwelcome men make me feel in my own town.

High school girls strike back

2008-05-15T11:30:00.000-04:00

So there's this guy on Dunlap Street in Dorchester who always stands out on his balcony and sleazes on every woman and girl who walks past. One day, his attention was deflected from me to a group of high school girls walking by-- wearing back packs, obviously underage-- who were going about their business when he called out, 'Heey, ladieees!' One of them asked her friends, 'What'd he say?' to which another responded, 'He said "Hey ladies," ... like a faggot.'

Admittedly, queerphobic slurs and gender policing aren't the answer to sexist harassment, but the harasser in question was so upset it was almost worth it.

Counter service

2008-04-15T23:11:00.002-04:00

Today I was working in an Allston cafe when a man approached the counter. I was listening to music under headphones, but after several minutes, I realized he hadn't left the counter, even though he had his coffee. He was at least middle aged, and as I took off my headphones, I heard him asking one of the young baristas weird questions about school and her neighborhood. "Better be careful alone in the big city," he said, while continuing to lean in. She smiled patiently, and I couldn't yet tell if the guy was just awkward or super slimy.

Didn't take long to figure it out. About another minute in, he was asking if she'd heard of a certain club, would she like to go there with him, and could he take her to his hotel room while they were at it? I was done, and I could see there was no easy way for her out of the situation. I got up, approached the counter, made a face behind his back, and looked at the girl until she told him, "Let me help her." We then proceeded to talk about tea selection and shop hours for long enough that after she was done talking to me, the girl had an excuse to walk to the back of the store without further addressing the dude. He stood around for a while longer but finally had to sit down again.

On my way out, I stopped to see if she was alright, mouthing to the back of the kitchen area where only she could see me, "Are you okay?" She came up and thanked me, and her coworker came over too, saying, "I'm a chicken." I told them that I wasn't about to disempower them, but it obvious to us all that the douchebaggery guy wasn't about to take a reasonable "no" for an answer. Their manager had left a while ago - I'd seen him go - and I told them I had their back. It's my cafe too, damnit, and if we all aren't safe and happy, no one really is. If we don't watch out for each other, who will?

- Brittany

Things will be great when you're...

2008-03-12T13:45:00.004-04:00

I was at Downtown Crossing heading to a meeting down a side street when a guy yelled, "HEY BABY!" I turned around, but he wasn't even looking back at me anymore. It's not like this encounter ruined my day or hurt me, but what pisses me off is that I looked. He has that power over me - all men do - and that by just randomly screaming at me, he can have my undivided attention. And people think a power imbalance doesn't exist. Hah.

Park it over there

2008-03-07T12:18:00.002-05:00

I was walking through the Common this morning, in a hideous mood and on the verge of tears for legitimate personal reasons. As I walked past one of the maintenance buildings, a man came out carrying a huge garbage bag. I had my head down, sunglasses on, and there were quite a few other people around, but - no surprise - he came right at me. "Hey honey, you got a cell phone, wanna make a dollar?" So angry that by being in public, by existing, I was immediately assumed to be available for whatever some man wanted from me, I snapped back loudly, "NO," and kept walking. He said loudly to my retreating back, "Well gee, thanks a lot," as if I'd seriously inconvenienced him. I was furious. Instead of turning around and berating him with tales of my personal sadness, reasons why he should have left me alone; and instead of just letting it go or being afraid, I yelled back, even more loudly, "FUCK YOU!" And it felt really fucking good.

Jerkoff on the Peter Pan

2008-02-28T14:24:00.004-05:00

I took the Peter Pan Bus from Port Authority to Providence on Monday, Feb 25 at 8:00pm. The man across the aisle from me got pretty chatty right away, and I was friendly toward him until he started annoying me and I put in my headphones and stopped paying attention. I could feel him staring at me for most of the ride, but I didn't want to encourage him, so I kept my eyes on the road outside. After a couple of hours (and after ignoring several attempts on his part to get my attention) I got fed up and turned to look at him, hoping he'd leave me the fuck alone. No such luck.

He had his dick out of his pants and was openly jerking off - while staring at me. I froze, turned away, looked back out the window; when I glanced back he was pretending to sleep. I sat there for a few minutes trying to will the bus to get to the city quickly, trying to figure out what I should do, and finally I gathered my things and stood up to move toward the front of the bus. He sat up, said "Oh, are we there?" and pulled his dick out and got back to work, this time with eye contact. I don't remember what I said - probably "Oh my god" - before I found a new seat.

I called my best friend & kept him on the phone til I was in a cab on my way home. I felt so ashamed that I hadn't made a scene - I was so shocked that I just sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do.

The worst part is: this guy is from my town & I have to take the city bus with him every single evening. Last night I talked to the bus driver & supervisor & they're going to help me do something.

In the meantime, I took this picture. Hopefully it'll help somehow.

Amelia Allard

Providence, RI

(there's no Prov hollaback site yet - but I thought maybe it'd be good to post this)

Even my mental health clinic isn't safe

2008-02-19T13:01:00.000-05:00

This is a little different than the usual harassment stories that I have seen on the site, but it's just as frightening.

I live north of Boston. I have Asperger's Syndrome (an Autism Spectrum Disorder), Bipolar Disorder, and slight Agoraphobia (fear of leaving a safe place), and I go to a center in Lawrence for mental health and cognitive care on a weekly basis.

As I was arriving for an appointment a few months ago, I had barely put my car into park, when I looked up and found this strange man staring at me, literally inches from my driver's side window. With my developmental delays and poor mental health, I often have trouble responding to social cues and situations that require quick thinking. So I sat there, my eyes getting huge and paralyzed in my seat. Suddenly, he starts repeatedly knocking on my window, all while staring and nearly breathing on the door.

I abruptly put my car into reverse and backed out of the spot like a bat out of hell. I almost ran over his feet, but I really didn't care. I didn't know where to go - it was a small parking lot, and I was worried that he would catch up to me. Luckily, the front parking space was open, and a few people were standing by the door smoking, so I parked there and booked it, not looking back until I got to the front desk. After my appointment, I had to go through more humiliation and ask my counselor to walk me to my car.

It wasn't that long ago that I couldn't even walk to my mailbox without having a panic attack. Being able to run errands on my own is a huge step. But every time I get harassed, I get afraid that it will cause me to revert back to my old ways. I hated feeling that I needed a chaperon everywhere I went. Having AS and being mentally ill at the same time is already discouraging in many situations. The added trauma of being harassed and having trouble doing something about it is downright dehumanizing.

I hope that this might influence some of you to speak out a little louder, for those of us that need extra help fighting back.

- Sara C.

Never ends

2008-01-30T13:10:00.000-05:00

I was visiting from friends in New York city (I live in Boston) and one night, my boyfriend and I went to see a movie in the East Village. It got out pretty late, and as we were trying to hail a cab, one drove past and its passenger screamed at me, "HEY BEAUTIFUL!" It's not like I don't experience harassment that's much worse all the time, but it spooked us both that even another man's presence did nothing to stop this one.

Harassment comes in many forms

2007-12-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

I was walking into the Borders at Downtown Crossing and this guy said hello to me and held open the door. I responded, "thank you," and continued into the store. I guess I shouldn't have been so polite, since he followed me all over the store. I even went into the ladies room and stayed there for a few minutes, but when I left he had been standing next to the door and started following me again. I should have gone to a clerk and have them paged the manager or something. I really should have. But instead I was just ducking behind shelves and called one of my friends, letting her know what was going on, and keeping her on the line. I finally made a beeline for the door and when I got outside, I turned around to make sure this guy wasn't following me but sure enough, he was heading down the escalator staring rather evilly at me. I took off in a rather unconventional way to get to the Government Center T stop, absolutely terrified. And when I thought I saw him in the T station, I even got on a different train than the one I needed. Luckily, I heard a guy on the phone behind me calling the MBTA police, and the chaser disappeared. Not so much verbal harassment as stalking, but absolutely terrifying all the same.

Bring it on home

2007-12-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've experienced many lewd comments whilst living in Boston, but definitely one of the more disturbing incidents of harassment occurred when I was in my hometown for a couple days this past summer. My car was running on empty, so I stopped to get some gas. It was the middle of the of the day, and at a busy suburban intersection. I filled up the tank and walked to the store to pay. A group of guys were sitting in a decrepit vehicle next to the curb, and one shouted at me that I dropped my keys. I looked down and nope, no keys. I threw a withering stare their way and kept walking, to hissing and cackling and "oh come on baby, we just tryin' to have some fun!" No, assholes, not fun. And they just didn't know how to quit. They were still sitting there when I returned to my car and one guy stuck his head out the window and yelled for me to "bring [my] sweet self back over." That did it. Normally, I ignore disgusting creeps like these guys. But I turned around and told them to go fuck themselves, as clearly they didn't know how to respect women enough to actually get one. And with that I got in my car and drove off.

Creeper

2007-12-11T11:27:00.000-05:00

I was out playing pool with my boyfriend one night, and he calls his friend to come pick us up. The guy shows up, and he's 24 years old- and he's talking to my friend about his crazy drive there and then goes on about how he "has a little one on the way". Mind you, I'm only 16. My boyfriend turns around to grab something out of his bag, and as he does this guy looks me up and down a few times, then smiles and winks at me- all the while as my boyfriend was standing mere feet away! Not only that, but he was about to have a baby?? WTF is that, and why is he creeping on little girls? I was too embarrassed to complain to my boyfriend about it, but I made sure to stick close to him whenever this guy was around.

Walking while female

2007-10-19T01:31:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I was walking home from Davis Square along Highland Ave around 10pm. I heard a bicycle behind me on the sidewalk so I moved to the side to let the biker pass me. He doesn't pass. So I glance back, thinking, that's kind of weird. Keep walking. Bike stays very close to me. Comes up beside me, falls back. Still doesn't pass me, despite the fact we're on a flat straightaway, very little traffic, he could comfortably be in the road and on his way anytime. I was starting to get nervous, as I was alone on a residential street and the only business that I knew I could duck into was still several blocks away. Eventually I realize he's making these hissing noises. I glanced back again, and this time gave him a good hard look to let him know I see him. More hissing, more getting close, falling behind. Identify the hissing noises as something to the effect of "senorita". Eventually he also throws a "beautiful lady" in there. Luckily another woman was walking a little ahead of me and I caught up with her and we chatted until he took off. This was about a month ago and I haven't seen him since.

- Sarah

Stop touching women!

2007-10-18T11:38:00.000-04:00

Dear guy at the Spoon concert,

It's one thing to trick women into shaking your hand by acting like you are old friends, only to then start massaging their hands. It's another thing to ask my friend for "a high five before she goes" (she said no with bewilderment - you are a stranger). It is yet another thing for you to then approach us all again - five of us in total, including a 6'3 male - and try to hug our friend who has already said "NO". After yelling "NO!" again and very forcefully telling you to leave, our other friend yelled, "Stop touching women!" Fucking asshole.

I just walked outside

2007-10-03T01:05:00.000-04:00

I was going to an appointment. I walked into my own parking lot outside my building. There were two of them, working on something on a next door house/building. Not like it matters. I carried my trash to the dumpster and came back to get into my car, right next to where they were working - though until then, I hadn't noticed them. They're making noise, and I therefore look up to see what it is. Then I'm greeted with a "How you doin, honey?" I stammered back, "I'm fine, but I'm not your honey." Doesn't matter that I'm not - they leered at me as I blasted my stereo and drove away, praying they wouldn't be there when I came home.

On the road again

2007-08-26T08:18:00.000-04:00

I'm walking home from work at like 1am on Friday. It's pretty well lit so I'm not too worried at all. Then out of nowhere, some guy in a giant white SUV with out of state plates yells at me, "Hey ma'am, do you need a ride??" I was too freaked out to do anything but say "No, I'm fine, thank you" and watch him drive away. If I didn't act polite, was he gonna jump out and force me in? If it was a nice offer, that's too bad that he doesn't know how scary he was acting.

- Allston

Elevator eyes

2007-08-22T14:35:00.000-04:00

Smirking, elevator eyes dood in Brighton/Brookline cafe last night, do not look at every woman, including my roommate, with your skeezy shit. You think we don't see you staring at everyone's ass who stands next to you at the counter? Did you order slop for dinner, you pig? Disgusting.

Later, my roommates and I were walking home from dinner and got screamed at by some more doods in a truck. They saw no men and three women and that's the invitation they need? What is wrong with our world?

Not very yummy

2007-07-21T00:46:00.000-04:00

Walking down Beacon St. w/ friend and ice cream, enjoying our night, we pass this dude leaning against a car, watching us all - women - walk by. He leans over at me and says in this totally nasty way, "Oooh, that looks delicious!" We walked a few feet and I turned and yelled back, "Don't harass women on the street!!"

- from Brookline

More hose play

2007-07-17T00:58:00.000-04:00

Holla back for someone else - the motherfuckers doing this late night construction whistled across the street at four young women half their age. Grow up, men children. I want to walk home in peace and these ladies deserve the same. I should have asked who they work for and called the boss. I'm sure they'd love to know the fellas yell at little girls on the job.

- G.R.

Wait, what the fuck did you just call me?

2007-06-26T00:01:00.000-04:00

So I'm walking home from work and as I turn onto my street, a rather jovial man greets me with "Hey! What's up, smoothie?" I turn and look at him like, wtfwtfwtf? Amused by my scornful facial expression, he made some salacious noises and crossed to the opposite side of the street whereupon I reached into my pocket for my cell & snapped the image you see here. "Did you just take my picture?" he asked laughingly. "Word."

But as I walk to my front door*, I'm thinking "What the fucking fuck is a smoothie?" I immediately consulted urbandictionary and my results are not encouraging-- and not just because the entries are über-misogynist. "Smoothie" seems to mean either a female [or the naughty bits of a female] with no pubic hairs, or else it means a blow job. And this epithet is directed at me . . . . why?

*Yeah, I don't care that he knows where I live, either-- he's clearly the type who feels that his harassment is friendly and that his targets should feel flattered by his unwelcome advances. He's otherwise harmless, but even in the highly improbable event that my freakishly accurate instincts prove disastrously wrong, I'm never without my big knife and my willingness to kill or die fighting rather than get raped again.

- from Dorcester

Not worth my cash money

2007-06-19T00:41:00.000-04:00

Some fool looked me up and down when he sat down next to me tonight in the T station, and I whipped out my camera and took his picture! I was so proud of not just letting him get away with that crap because I was just trying to go home, just like him. Instead of being pissed, I remembered I could do something.

Only I can't get the picture off my phone. I don't want to pay the fee to send picture messages, so I guess I don't get to show him to the world. He isn't worth it. But I still feel better and know I'm not alone.

Your humps

2007-06-14T00:57:00.000-04:00

I was going to meet my friends at Fenway for a night game so I hopped on the T at north station. It wasn’t too crowded and I was psyched. I noticed this guy like in his 30’s kind of staring at me and I was like, no big deal. I was dressed a little hot and I get looks sometimes and I don’t mind. But this guy was looking at my breasts and my skirt like he was going to EAT me up. First of all, I was scared. I’m 16 and this guy is looking at me like he is going to rape me, and second I’m alone. So the train gets a little more crowded and he keeps staring. I also noticed that he is playing pocket pool. I cant believe nobody else noticed because it was kind of obvious.

Anyway, at Govt center: the train got really filled up and he moved right behind me. I was so freaking out…I could feel him breathing on me now and he was bumping into me all the time. I had a very thin short skirt on so I could literally feel him humping me. I jabbed him with my elbow and said “excuse me” and he ignored me. It was honestly too crowded to do anything at the next stop and he got close to me again.

So I thought I heard him whispering shit to me like “oh yea baby, you little @#$# fuck yeah” and I totally felt him humping me. At this point it was one stop until I was getting off and I was sick of it but I just went to my happy place and didn’t worry about it. Then it happened.

I really felt his penis go under against my butt like he was trying to fuck me through my skirt. Then I hear him go “aww you little cunt” and I could feel him do his thing. I tried to move away but I couldn’t. I jabbed him with my elbow and said WTF! At that point the train stopped and I felt wet all over my butt. The train let out and I pushed to get off. I looked and saw that he came all over the back of my skirt. I was horrified and I ran off the train and called my friend. She met me right at the station and we went to a hotel bathroom to clean up.

This was the most disgusting thing that ever happened to me. I reported it to the transit police and they are investigating it. I hope they catch this guy because I basically feel like I got raped by this scumbag. The crazy thing is that the cops said this happens sometimes and usually the guy keeps doing it until he gets caught.

- Anonymous

How can I best harass you?

2007-06-08T00:19:00.000-04:00

Last Friday night a group of men pulled over and asked me, “How do we do a gay drive by? Throw skittles at you!?” I’m sure they saw my new tattoo which reads “sissy.” At least this time the harassment was semi-clever - a refreshing break from the usual homo/faggot shouts. I told them to look at my tattoo again and think about whether or not I give a shit what they think.

Just not worth it

2007-06-06T00:12:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago, a friend and I were on vacation. We'd made our way to El Paso, TX, and decided to go across the border to Juarez one Sunday morning. We were just walking along - it was probably only 10am - and suddenly there was a man in my face, trying to kiss me! A few minutes later, someone asked us out for drinks. At 10am?! We got some souvenirs and took off. I didn't want harassment to ruin my trip, but it just wasn't worth it.

- Kate

Keep your hands (not) to yourself

2007-05-31T01:14:00.001-04:00

Guy on T tonight:

I see you. I have my head down, hands on my face because I have a headache, but I can see and hear you. You and your friend keep talking about "bitches", but I find that about a third as disturbing as the way you keep grabbing your piece every three minutes. Yes, I see your penis. Around 50% of the population has one. I am not impressed.

Stop waving your junk around behind the mesh separating us and either take a shower or grow up. I don't need to be reminded of you and what you can do with that thing. I just want to go home.

Dirty Old Hose

2007-05-30T00:21:00.000-04:00

This morning I was visiting with a neighbor and her friendly dog was jumping up and around my feet and licking my legs. By the time I got to the nursery with my mom to shop for some plants later on, my calves and ankles were itching from being allergic to the puppy. We spotted a nice-looking elderly man in the nursery, watering plants with a hose. So, we walked up to him and my mom explained what had happened and if I could please borrow the hose to wash my legs off. He said, of course, and smiled and held the hose for me as I took off my flip-flops. I quickly rinsed and said thank you, but his unexpected response to me was:

"Do you want me to lick them dry?"

I couldn't believe it, I said "What? NO!" And I gave him this totally grossed out look. My mom hadn't heard him, and when I told her what he said afterward, she was in disbelief, too. The guy was like, over 70. And my mom had been standing right there! Why on earth would he say something so disgusting in ear shot of my mom, too!? The thought of that old guy licking my legs....Ewwwww! Maybe he was so old he thought he could get away with it...maybe he got a little too carried away with his hose. Whatever. The point is, mister, sexual harassment is timeless.

(I felt much better after taking his picture. :)
-Michelle

Assumptions make an ...

2007-05-27T01:49:00.000-04:00

These young dudes yelled at me while I was trying to set up my camera on the beach to take a nice video of the waves, "NICE ASS!" I was so enrapt with my camera, I didn't notice - and my good friend elected to flip them off on my behalf and later tell of me of the transgression so as not to ruin my fun in the sun. We found them later and snapped a photo.

- Nantasket Beach, Hull, MA

We're not gonna take it

2007-05-24T00:54:00.000-04:00

Every day when I walk out of my Somerville apartment, and walk down the street to the bus stop, I get stared at. Leers, looks, cars slowing down to stare. I'm SO sick of it, but I don't really know what to do about it. Sometimes I stare back, and make a face, but that doesn't stop them. I used to worry every day about what I was wearing - especially in the summer. If I have any skin showing AT ALL, I know I'll get harassed that much more. I feel powerless.

Yesterday, I was walking home and I noticed a man across the street, and a young woman jogging towards him. I thought to myself "Oh, he's going to check her out and be disgusting about it." Sure enough, he stared and leered at her. Once she ran by him, he stopped walking, turned around and stared at her. I NEVER say anything to men, but I'm getting so fed up with it. All of a sudden I started yelling at him, "That's rude! Don't look at her like that-that's rude! She's not a piece of meat!!" I don't even know where the words came from, they just came out.

The man turned to look at me. He looked so surprised. He kind of muttered something, and looked at me as if he was trying to think of something to say. I continued walking, worrying that he would come after me. But, he didn't. It was an amazing experience for me. It felt so great to just YELL. To let a man know that it is not acceptable to stare at women like that. That we aren't here for him to stare at and think about fucking. I don't know if he even heard what I said, or what I meant by it, but dang, it still felt so great!

I decided, after last night, that I'm going to stop "ignoring" these men. Ignoring them just sends them the message that it's ok to harass women on the street. I don't care if people think I'm crazy; I'm going to start yelling at men on the street.

I got home and told my roommate about my experience. She related her harassment story of the day-being on the T and having a man lurking over her, with his crotch right in her face. Even when the T cleared out and there were plenty of seats available, this man still stood there, trapping her in. She got up to move, and when she moved, the guy turned around to look at her. She was ready to move again, but luckily he just stayed put.

Women face this every single day. Even if it doesn't happen to you every day, we still know it could. We still have to be hypervigilant, and worry about what might happen.

So from now on, I'm yelling at men. Enough is enough.

Madeleine

Unsolicited - as usual

2007-05-23T00:29:00.000-04:00

On Monday I walked past two of those guys who drive this big black "livery" cars around Boston. They weren't speaking English, but one made a point, as I walked within about two feet of them (because they were crowding the sidewalk), to stop and say, "Boo-tee-fuhl! BOO-TEE-FUHL!" I'd almost appreciate it - only I didn't ask for approval.

A few hours later, walking home from work to the Arlington T stop around 11:30pm, two guys passed me. I had my headphones on but no music was playing as I searched for a good song. Suddenly one of them started snapping his fingers at me to get my attention and yelled, "Hey honey!" I looked up. "Which way to Chinatown?" "Next block, take a left," I said. "Honey" probably should have snapped back and given the wrong directions - ya know, so they could get lost - but sometimes I'm just too tired to fight.

- Jenna

On the job

2007-05-22T00:25:00.000-04:00

Because I'm one of the people at my store that can get by in Spanish, I'm sometimes asked to help customers who don't speak English. Guy came in the other day who only spoke Spanish. No big deal. As I walked him to his items, he asked me how I knew Spanish. I told him that I had learned throughout school. He somehow got "spouse" out of that, and I corrected him. He was friendly and left with what he wanted. End of story.

Only not really. End of one of four instances. A few minutes later, he came back into the store, approached me directly and asked me to fax something for him. I couldn't, but I led him to a Kinko's where he could do that. Then he came back after a bit and just wandered aimlessly around the store. Odd.

The fourth time he came in, he, again, approached me directly. At this point, I just found him a bit annoying (I was at work, and this was the fourth time in about an hour he visited). My boss and I both led him to what he wanted this time... he kept asking for random things and then telling me he didn't need them. I was just confused at this point. As we walked away, again, it got weird. He started asking me where I lived, told me where he lived, asked me if I liked dancing, etc. He proceeded to tell me that he went out dancing a lot and I NEEDED to come with him so that I could practice. At this point, I wanted to scream, "There is nothing I want to practice with you, dude!" I kept my cool and kept saying no, and then he asked if I had a boyfriend. I lied. I had to make up a fiance to get this guy to leave the store. And even after I told him I was engaged, he asked for my number. I thought I was going to have to get one of my big-guy managers to come play my fiance for a few minutes to get this guy away from me. At this point it was just unnerving. I accept that sometimes this is part of a culture, but to continue to come in the store and ask about my love life, and then ask for my number AFTER I have made up a fiance really made me uncomfortable. Not only am I always on the lookout for him now, but I have put the fake wedding band in my wallet should I have to use it. Not cool.

Comeback? Yeah, wish I had one ready...

2007-05-18T00:39:00.000-04:00

I was sadly without camera phone, but this gross, sweaty dude outside my gym leered at me as I was walking to my car, and then I heard it behind me:

"Shiiit!! (....kissing noises....) I wanna talk to you. Come back 'ere."

Hell NO. I sped up, and felt relieved once I slammed the door of my car. I HATE it when they wait for you to turn your back, and I HATE it when they make you run. Shut up already!!

-Anonymous

Friday night lights

2007-05-12T00:17:00.000-04:00

Dude driving a passing cab:

"NICE BOOBS!"

Are you for real? Well, they are and they're spectacular. Drive on home.

I'm not a mirror

2007-05-08T00:07:00.000-04:00

So stop staring. These guys wouldn't leave us alone at the Harvard Square street fair on Sunday.

Play Quicktime video clip

Life is not a party

2007-05-06T02:10:00.000-04:00

A friend was having a birthday party last night, so I went out to celebrate. To characterize the venue: imagine "Spring Break" exploding inside a dive bar. We're talking tiki torches and grass umbrellas and bad beer and a full crowd of sexist pigs, that I personally wished were on skewers.

My friend, Beth, and I entered the bar and she was wearing short shorts with high heels. Not within two seconds a group of dudes start YELLING shit at us from across the bar, including: "Hey Sweetheart!! You gonna keep those shorts on all night, or what?!!" As if the alternative was for her to take them off? For him? Yeah, right. We were totally disgusted.

Then, a couple minutes later, same dudes yell, "Hey, hey, are you two lesbians?! I bet you're lesbians!!" Which is ironic since I do happen to be gay. But, Beth is straight and that reality was a far cry from whatever delusional porn reel happened to be going through their minds. And finally, as we had to squeeze past them in the crowded room, this guy actually GRABBED ME by the waist and yanked me toward him, saying, "Meet my friend, meet my friend!" I was so pissed, I whipped out my camera and said, "Do I KNOW you? I don't think so. Stop touching me. Why don't you guys smile for the camera!" They immediately started to back away when they saw the camera, and his friend even put his hand up in front of his face, repeating, "Oh no. No paparazzi!" After I snapped the pic, I squirmed away from them, hearing "Oh, she's too mature to talk to us!" in the background. Yeah, that's right buddy, you sexually harass us, then man-handle me, order me around, and then insult me when I won't passively comply to whatever you want. Not too difficult to be more mature than you.

But, it gets better! Oh yes. When we finally reached our group: another dude said to the girl I was standing next to: "I'll buy you a beer if you show me your tits!!!" Not kidding. The girl ignored him. I wanted to punch him in the face.

And to round out such a lovely evening, right before we left, a woman accidentally bumped into a guy as she was coming out of the bathroom, and as she said "Sorry" he replied loudly with, "YOU FUCKING CUNT!" Talk about unnecessary hostility towards women. At that point, I concluded that I was in hell.

I wanted to puke and take five showers by the time I escaped that place. I still kinda do. I will never go there again.

- Michelle, Newport Beach, CA

Made Me Look

2007-05-02T10:06:00.000-04:00

In case anybody still hasn't gotten that street harassment is about power, here's a little story from my morning:

I was walking to my car before work and had chosen to walk in the street to avoid getting my heels stuck in the cobblestone sidewalk. I was looking down into my bag and all of a sudden I hear a short, high-pitched whistle. Thinking it could perhaps be someone telling me to get out of the street, I look up and in the direction of the whistle. Sure enough, a young man smiles at me from the sidewalk. Did he really need to get a look at my face that badly? No. Did he know that he has the power to walk all around this city and get others to do what he wants? Yes.

- Hilary

Say what?

2007-05-01T10:16:00.000-04:00

"Hey doll!"

"What's happening, doll?"

Shut up, man. Don't ruin my sunshine.

- liz

When you don't want to be alone

2007-04-27T07:55:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I found you guys. I totally feel like I'm not the only one anymore. I have had a lot of stuff like this happen to me before but last night was the worst. I dressed up to meet some friends and I was waiting at Govt center to go to north station. It was crowded and i felt this guy bump my ass. I was like ok... Then he did it again. He came around in front of me and was staring at me and flicked his tounge at me. Gross - he was a nasty looking, like, 45 yr old man. So I walked further down the line, and he followed me sayin "Where you goin baby, you look so hot, didn't you want some cock tonight?" I must have turned bright red. I was soo angry. So a train arrives and I get on and sit down and this is when it gets weird. The guy outside was pointing at me to another guy on the train like 'shes all yours'. So nothin happened and I got off the train. It was totally jammed going up the stairs and this other guy got like right up to my ear and said "Baby you got a nice little ass.. you like to have that little pussy licked?" It scared the crap out of me. He was right up in my ear not even whispering, then hes like "C'mon you little slut, you know you want my cock in that little c##t. I'll F#ck you sooo hard baby". Then he just dropped back and I never saw him again. I was soo scared, I was like shaking. I don't know what kind of guys these were, and like in a few other stories I saw I didn't even think of taking their pictures but next time I will. I just think it sucks that if you want to look good and go out you have to be afraid of assholes like this.

Don't be a stranger

2007-04-25T08:32:00.000-04:00

I already wrote last week about how strange men, random realtors, have been showing up in my home unannounced. It hit a breaking point after yet another one appeared in my kitchen last Friday and refused to leave after I asked him repeatedly. I'd been threatened the day before, and I told this guy he needed to get out. He kept arguing with me - about whether or not he was allowed to be in MY home without MY permission! I was there alone, and I started to get pretty freaked out. Imagine how much worse I felt when he shifted into perpetrator mode.

"So I get it. You're saying you're a hostile tenant."
"Excuse me? I didn't say that. I asked you to get out of my home."

Anyone wanna remember how insane it is that I have to have this argument in the first place?

"Well, this is your fault that this is happening."

Is that anything like telling me "I deserve it" for wearing a skirt?

"This is MY fault? You're a strange man in my house! I don't know who the fuck you are! Get out!"
(grabs at his suit jacket) "Look, I'm not those other guys."

Woah, buddy. Who do you mean, and what do you mean? You're not like those other guys who beat their girlfriends cause you only slapped me once or what? That's the kind of language and rationale you continue to use while invading my privacy and sense of safety? Cause that's abuse language. And I don't give a shit if you're wearing a cheap suit.

I finally said, "You don't get that I'm a woman, home alone, and you're a strange man who won't leave my home. Do you get that that's scary? Do you get that?"

He sort of stared at me and finally stormed out. I called my roommate, hysterical, and then I called the cops. We got the locks changed a few hours later, and I'm filing more complaints than before as well as hauling my landlord to court.

Tip to the fuckwads: don't give me your business card or use your own car. Don't assume I don't have a next level attorney. I've got your plates, your name, the law on my side, and your ass is grass, motherfuckers. See ya'll in court.

- B

Three's company

2007-04-23T00:21:00.000-04:00

One Saturday night, two of my lovers and I had put in time at a drunken party and decided to leave and go back to my place while we still had enough motor skills to do so. We were drunk and being affectionate when we got on the nearly vacant red line train. Without giving much thought to it, we sat down with my lady friend in the middle. As I said, we were being affectionate, but certainly not overtly sexual and nowhere near grotesque. The manner in which I nuzzled and kissed my lady friend was harmless and cute, just as it was when she cuddled and kissed our gentleman caller. Suddenly, a voice broke through the train. The train was loud, but this woman was louder and she was announcing to what I'm assuming was her partner that my lady friend was a disgusting slut because she just kissed two different people. On and on about how slutty she was and how icky we were [I think]. I can't recall any of it with much clarity because, like I said, we were crunk. My lovers and I kinda laughed it off and enjoyed the rest of our evening. But having sobered up, it really makes one wonder if this woman would have been nearly as upset had our gentleman caller been sitting in the middle while the two of us ladies fawned on him and his big, manly muscles.

Knock knock. Who's there?

2007-04-20T00:20:00.000-04:00

Tonight a real estate agent came by to show my apartment. I'm not renewing my lease for the fall - which is five months from now - but realtors have been coming through our home for the past month almost daily and sometimes multiple times in a single afternoon. We can't seem to stop them, but I've started meeting them at the door (since they tend to walk in unannounced, even when we're home & no matter what we might be doing) and telling them to leave. Last week a strange man walked into my kitchen and saw me sitting at my desk, at which point I yelled, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" and then "I have an expectation of privacy in my own home!" I'm beyond sick of feeling unsafe even in my own bedroom.

So when Will the real estate agent showed up tonight, I told him he could not wander through my apartment. This is my home, and you do not have approval to be here. You've already unlocked my front door; now lock it on the way out.

Dude was at least a foot taller than me, which I'd like to once again point out is probably not even part of his consciousness. Don't hulk over me - get out of my fucking atrium. After he insisted, "I left a voicemail!" - which is certainly not permission to enter my residence - I shut the door and locked it after he finally moved out of the doorway. He shouted, "You could be nicer next time!" So I yelled back, "So could you!"

Then I heard more from the stairwell, so I went into the hallway to hear him yelling, "See you soon, sweetie!" and "See you reeeeaaaaal soon!"

Excuse me? Is that a threat? Because I like to use the phrase from the film, Swingers, "you don't know me; you don't know my address" - but in this case, that doesn't apply. In fact, you're threatening me in my own building, and you know exactly who I am and which unit is mine. You even apparently have a key to my fucking apartment.

Writing down his plates and later locating his place of employment and semi-apologetic boss didn't make me feel much better. Tomorrow I'm calling the Greater Boston Association of Realtors - with whom I am quite sure this man is not affiliated due to his lack of ethics conduct - and then I'll move onto the MA real estate commission.

You fucked with the wrong woman, sir, and this has already been one hell of a week. I wish for a world without violence, but I have an iron doorstop for a reason, and you'd better not set foot near it again.

- Brittany

Thanks for noticing

2007-04-17T00:20:00.000-04:00

One night, I and my lady friend at the time were going back to my place. Irrespective of our plans for the evening, one thing we did not expect en route was an unsavory encounter with a gaggle of boys who couldn't have been a full 10 years old. As we crossed the intersection of Boylston and Brookline by the Landmark Center, we passed these children who called out, 'Hey, can I get some pussy?' Another time, the same girl and I were walking down Queensberry-- we weren't even being affectionate with each other, but nevertheless on this tranquil evening, we heard the voice of what had to have been a drunken college girl call out smugly, 'LezzzzzzBEEEE-inzzz!' Your powers of observation are in tact, my friend. Want a cookie?

Can You Even BE More Obvious With Your Sexism?!

2007-04-13T01:04:00.000-04:00

I was on vacation in Sonoma, CA a couple years ago with my friend. We decided to take a cab to her friend’s house to go to a party one night. The cab driver picks us up, and after a few minutes starts telling us horribly disgusting, sexist jokes. I could tell this guy was fucked up, so I decided to confront him with the only thing I could think of at the moment.

I said loudly to him, “Hey, why do brides wear white?”

He said something like, “I don’t know. Because they’re pretending they’ve never been fucked?” (more gross laughter)

“No. Because all major kitchen appliances come in white.”

He seemed a little taken aback, but laughed just the same. Then he said, that was a good one. My poor friend looked at me like I was crazy. It was only when we arrived safely and got out of the cab that I explained how I was haphazardly trying to change the tone of the whole encounter and let him know that he wasn't going to intimidate us. Of course, any guy who had an ounce of human decency might have felt ashamed after I threw his stupid game back in his face. Dare to dream....

-Sam

Keep the change

2007-04-11T01:45:00.000-04:00

On the way home from dinner in Allston, waiting for the B line, my friend and I watched this guy grab a woman's arm who had just given him some change. She kept trying to walk away and he wouldn't let her go. Like her, we were a little unsure of how to handle the situation, but I hope she knows we took the picture because we had her back! She finally pulled away and hurried down a side street while he kept yelling "Hey!" after her.

They Start Young...

2007-04-09T00:03:00.000-04:00

I just remembered an incident that happened when I was six years old! Serious flashback. I was in first grade; I remember the classroom very clearly. I had just changed into my leotard and tights to go to ballet class (there was no time for me to change except at school beforehand). In my little outfit, I went to my cubby to pack up my books. This red-haired obnoxious boy in my class named Jamie Champie – yes, that’s his real name, although I’m probably not spelling it correctly – came by and RAN HIS FINGER UP MY BUTT. A first-grader. Sure, you could call it innocent curiosity. But I also remember spinning around to see who it was, and he just started rolling in laughter at me. I was SO embarrassed. And he was totally entertained. How did he know at such a young age to treat girls as if they’re just here on this planet for his amusement?

-M

Not a Good Friday

2007-04-07T00:03:00.000-04:00

I just worked a 12 hour Friday. I'm tired. It's almost midnight. I just wanna go home. Already today, completely unprovoked (at least by me), a woman who lives where I work decided to SCREAM at me when I asked if she wanted a receipt for her rent. She told me she'd come behind the counter and slap me. As I tried to pull my rather hysterical self together, my boss came in and said, "Oh, I guess I'll talk to her." You guess? I spent far too much of my evening shaking and undone. I have a highly visceral reaction to yelling. Don't fucking scream at me. Hell, I'd rather be hit. Come on over here and try it.

So I left work and stopped to buy a fucking Vitamin Water because I know I'll want it in the morning. As I walked out of the convenience store, trying to leave my best friend a coherent voicemail, an enormous man came within about two inches of me. Do you know how small that distance is? I'm 5'4 and today, I awkwardly had pigtails because I didn't have time to wash my hair. I don't look intimidating with my puffy vest & stupid hair. To avoid this giant dude, I had to step into one of those little dirt patches that surrounds a tree someone decided should be planted on a fucking sidewalk. And the guy still comes right at me and says, "Excuse me ma'am, can you do me a big favor?" Gets right in my face.

I know I didn't hide my irritation. I was pissed before you showed up, fucker. I said firmly, "No, I cannot. I need to get going." I kept walking as he SHOUTED at me, "You know what you need to do?! GAIN SOME FUCKING WEIGHT!"

What?! Gain some weight?! Okay, back up, you motherfucker. A, why the fuck are you yelling at me? DO YOU KNOW IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? Do you know that's scary? Does the dark mean the same thing to you it does to me? No?

B, gain some weight? I'm wearing baggy ass pants so shitheads like you won't fucking talk to me! I DID gain some weight, for your information, so that I could deflect some of this crap in public, so people would fucking leave me alone. And why the fuck do I have to explain how I look to you? You're bigger than me no matter what. You can have whatever you want. You wanna run me down and hurt me? You will. Fuck you. You have no idea how my size effects me.

C, is being told to gain weight as bad as being told you wanna assault me? It doesn't fucking matter. Do not tell me how to be, in public or anywhere. Don't physically bully me. Stop yelling at women for no fucking reason! I should not be so shaken up that I have to call my mother, who lives in sunny fucking Florida, and say, "Can you walk me home?" while I blubber and try to process two shouting people in my face in one fucking evening. I should not wonder at what point said dude is gonna come after me (which I did until I reached the subway, about five blocks later). I shouldn't have to plan to have a weapon in the hand the next time I walk outta work, 'cause next time, fucker's gettin maced in front of the 7-Eleven. Fuck you, motherfucker. I'm done.

This is my city too. I have a right to walk to the train without being told my physical existence is somehow wrong; I have the right to refuse to "help" some giant man with no manners who wants to step to me in the middle of the goddamn night; and I have the right to not feel fucking insane when I leave a private building or residence.

My city too.

- Brittany

I Don't Work For You

2007-04-06T00:58:00.000-04:00

I was walking to my car from the Saturday farmer’s market, wearing sweat pants. There was a man standing in his garden, and he stopped what he was doing, stood up, and turned completely around to watch me walk across the street.

He said, “Mmm…. Work that pretty ass. Work it.”

When I turned to shoot a fierce look at him, he gave me a huge smile, as if that was the most original “compliment” I’d ever heard.

I have just been sick for the past three months. I definitely wasn’t working anything. I couldn’t get the image of his stupid face out of my head for the rest of the day. GRRRR!!!

What'd you say?

2007-03-31T00:36:00.000-04:00

Friday night, Central Square, walking into a liquor store, joking about how we might be able to pick up some other substances nearby. My friend who's visiting from NYC says, "Near my place too! You've seen where I live! I'm surprised you didn't get propositioned!"

This man was apparently so mesmerized by the P word that he couldn't even walk through the door. We didn't know how to get him out of our way, but he wanted to stare at us, so he moved to get a better look. Then he said to his friend, "Man, if you just heard what I heard!" Dude, we were talking about fools like you!

Ten to one

2007-03-26T00:20:00.000-04:00

Walking in the South End today, one guy came really close to me. "Hey mommy, got a dime?" I'm a mother? Yours? That's news.

About three blocks later, we passed some young guys on their stoop. After we'd gone by, I heard, "You're hot! But you ain't got no ass!" I turned around, laughing. "And you're what, ten?" Most of the rest of this pleasant exchange was muffled because we kept walkin on, but I'm pretty sure he corrected me - he's twelve - and my friend swore she heard "blowjob" in his last audible rants.

I don't think he was trying to offer peace

2007-03-08T02:25:00.000-05:00

I noticed the one on the right leering at me when he got on the train, and I almost said something when he started bothering the woman sitting in front of him. But it really got me when he started making cooing sounds at me as I was exiting the car. At first I thought it was some sort of hooting dove noise, but a friend later pointed out that it might have been meant to sound like a pigeon. Whatever aviary he meant to intimidate, I don't think his symbolism is working.

Green Line molestation

2007-02-26T00:55:00.000-05:00

I had a disturbing trip on the green line the other night. I was coming back from school. As usual I climbed aboard a jam packed train and had to squeeze in front of some people to grab a pole. As I grab a pole I noticed that this guy slid right in behind me and grabbed the same pole. Let me tell you there was no where AT ALL for me to move and I think he knew that. SO he immediately pushes his crotch against my butt. Which has happened to me before...do they think I am just there for their pleasure??? This is when it gets worst though. I KNOW he actually pulled out his penis because I could feel the thing poking and literally throbbing as he was grinding up on me. The whole time his face was like 1 inch from me. I really felt scared. BUT yes this guy really did it. A hand started rubbing my crotch too like really rubbing it.. I was too scared to even look back and it could have been someone else too. it was SOOO tight I couldn’t go anywhere. Anyway he kept going then all the sudden pushed really hard and stopped. Just then he got off the train quickly and I never even really got a chance to see his face. However he did leave a disgusting wad of something on my jeans. I don’t know if it was spit or I HOPE not what I think it was. I am actually taking the bus for a while…. I was totally degraded and I would have taken a pic but I was like petrified and just tried to shrivel up and go away. I wish that creep's piece would fall off.

Krista, Brookline

On dem trains...

2007-02-19T09:40:00.000-05:00

Taking the train back late this Sunday afternoon, I was harassed by a man on the train. He was drunk, and repeatedly asking me for all kinds of personal information: my name, where I lived, my phone number, where I was going on the train. At first I didn't respond, and then when I finally did, I told him I wasn't interested, and I didn't give out personal information, or go out with strange men I met on the T. He kept insisting that I should because he told me that I was attractive, like it was a gift he was giving, or insurance against future misogyny from him. It was an outbound train, and as it went further along, I got scared that he would follow me off at my stop. My T stop, and the ones around it let off in residential areas, where there's no gas station or business that I could escape to and call the police. He got off a few stops before mine, and I guess I looked pretty upset because the man next to me asked if I was okay, and then told me that he was looking out to step in if the guy moved from verbal to physical harassment. A woman across from me said the same thing, and when I told her I wanted to take his picture but was too scared to provoke him, she said HollaBackBoston accepts written submissions too.

Sarah,
Jamaica Plain, MA

Masters of disguise

2007-02-16T04:23:00.000-05:00

This story actually happened when I was still an undergraduate at K.U. in Lawrence, KS. I had walked to the grocery store at about 8 pm one night, which I didn't think was the craziest idea ever. I wanted some fresh air, and the store was about a half mile from my apartment, the area is well-lit, and the whole walk is along major streets in a nice part of town. I had gotten the couple of things that I needed, and as I was entering the parking lot I had a guy approach me asking for any spare change, he had run out of gas, was trying to get back to Kansas City. Who cares if it's true (although it's probably not), so I gave the guy some change, and told him good luck getting back. Then he starts following me! I look back over my shoulder a few times to make sure, yup, there he is. So two buildings down is a gas station, and I start heading for it, figuring I'd go in and tell the clerk I was being followed, and have them call the police (I didn't have a cell). As luck would have it there was a cop sitting in the parking lot, so I knocked on his window, told him this guy was following me, and I didn't want him knowing where I lived. As soon as this guy rounds the corner and sees me talking to the cop, he goes back around the corner, puts on the sweater he had tied around his waist, then acts like he was just nonchalantly walking past. I'm telling you, the guy was like the fucking Master of Disguise or something. Anyways, the cop went to talk to him, and told me to walk home. It was such a scary experience and really drove home the point that I should be aware of my surroundings no matter how safe things may seem. Guess creeps really are everywhere.

-Alana

Passin' YOU by

2007-02-12T02:27:00.000-05:00

The leering was lame, but giving us some sort of bunny ears symbol? Not your bunny, sir. Not any kind of furry animal that you can have.

We even got a quick clip of them driving away. Guess some guys will do anything to get some on a Saturday night. When are they gonna learn that car to car communication is only hurting their cause? They must not know that when they try this shit, I instantly think about the times they didn't harmlessly drive away.

Play clip

Good old days

2007-01-26T01:53:00.000-05:00

I think this stuff happens a lot and we either don't talk about it or don't think about it anymore. Reading other posts makes me think about things that have happened to me that I'd pushed out of my mind or brushed off.

When I was in high school, this guy I knew pretty well was driving me home one night. We'd dropped off another friend and were driving down some backroads to get to my house. I have no idea how this happened, but somewhere in our conversation, he threatened to whip it out. I laughed it off. How weird, right? But I guess I went into shock when he grabbed my hand and pushed into his exposed lap. I'm pretty sure I'd never touched a penis at that point in my life, and I definitely didn't know what a soft one felt like. I didn't know what I was touching for a moment. Is that your thigh? Fuck.

I don't remember what happened after that except that he didn't try anything else and I got my hand back. And I know that makes me lucky. And I know that's beyond fucked up.

Looking back

2007-01-23T01:00:00.000-05:00

Checking out this site reminded me of my first encounter with street harassment in the Boston area. It was about 20 years ago, but apparently, not much has changed. I was walking in Cambridge, over by Mt. Auburn Cemetery on the way to my bus stop after school. I was probably eleven or twelve, and I must have had to stay late or something because I was alone, and usually I walked with friends. As I was walking along the sidewalk, a man rode up from behind me on a bicycle. He was in the street, but he slowed down when he was parallel to me and said “Hi!” I thought it was kind of weird, but I said “Hi!” back, put my head down to avoid his gaze, and kept walking. Since he was on a bike, he was ahead of me by that point, but he turned around and rode back towards me, this time pointing down at his crotch. And that’s when I saw it. His horrible, nauseatingly pale, half-flaccid penis hanging out of his pants. For a second, I just stared at it confused. I had never seen a white man’s penis before (I’d only seen my brother’s and my dad’s) and the first thing that popped into my middle-school brain was that he had a shaved squirrel in his lap (I really thought that!). Moments later, when I realized what I must be looking at, I was shocked and disgusted and absolutely mortified that I had looked as long as I had. I immediately started running as fast as I could toward my bus stop, terrified that he would turn around again to follow me. Thankfully he didn’t and I caught my bus home and never saw him again. Looking back, what I remember most about that episode is the crushing flood of shame that I felt. I was so embarrassed and angry at myself for looking, and for being confused, and for not immediately understanding what was going on. I felt stupid and humiliated. Some sick-o guy on a bike had flashed me, and all I did was stare at him, wide-eyed and perplexed. I was so upset and ashamed of my response that I never told anyone about what had happened.

It feels really good to finally tell someone now.

The next stop on the train is...

2007-01-19T00:15:00.000-05:00

This happened to me last week... I wrote up a blog on it in order to get out the frustration that the moment caused. My friend commented that I should check out hollabackboston.

glad to know that strong women can unite against crap like this.

here's the post:

I was tired last night.
The kind of tired where you've ceased to care how your hair looks, what day it is, or if your shoes are tied. I held the handrail all 100 stairs leading down to the subway station, for fear that a lazy step would send me ass-over-kettle down to the platform. These weary train rides home have become a daily occurance, and this one started out typical.
The T car held the usual assortment of characters; the gaggle of city highschoolers, crossword commuters, and young professionals.

I chose my seat in an empty-ish part of the train, so I could be alone with my thoughts, and shut my eyes without being bothered.
The doors closed, and my eyes settled into a blank stare at the floor.
A couple stops later at Harvard, a disheveled gray man disrupted my stare. He lumbered into the doors and sighed loudly while easing himself into the seat across from me.

Back to staring. This time, at the floor next to his shoes. I surrendered my mind to the shuffle of my iPod.

A gentle movement in front of me coaxed my eyes up to the newspaper resting in the lap of gray hoodie man.
Eyes still vacant, I became midly aware of the newsprint flexing repetitively.
As my thoughts drew back to reality, I focused on his hand bobbing between his legs.

..............?

I looked closer.
ew. scratching his old balls.
bleh.

A shaft of skin revealed itself,
and then I realized.

OH GOD.

he was masturbating.

Anger and disgust exploded in me. My eyes flashed up to his with a fury. I realized then, that he had been waiting for this moment. His head lolled back as his eyes rolled from my face, and into the back of his head.

gasp.
My head whipped away while my whirled on what to do next. Panicked, I searched the faces of the people in the next set of seats.
Nothing.
No one else noticed the old man pleasuring himself at my expense. I looked out the window, the train was slowing down to Charles MGH.

should i get off?
The sonata in my heaphones faded far away as each thought slow-motion-crashed into the next. My mouth was dry and fell open in shock.
Distantly, the T doors opened, closed, and the train began to speed up again.
Robotically, I stood up and walked noticably quick to the other end of the train where the majority of commuters had settled. I hid behind a large black woman reading a magazine.
Visibly concerned, I craned my neck around her girth to the tainted end of the train. I couldn't see him.

I was getting off at Park Street, the next stop.

In retrospect I should have done something. Told someone. Or publicly humiliated him. But what good would that have done? I may have suceeded in making him just as uncomfortable as he made me. I could have gotten him arrested, sentenced to registry as a sex offender, or roughed up by an equally offended male commuter. Chances are, he's done it before and may do it again. I'd rather not think about how I should have had the guts to react more constructively than running away. But it did teach me more about my emotional reflexes. How I reacted to a situation, what I felt, and what that reveals about my personality.
While traumatic in many ways, it also sobered me on my field-of-daisies outlook on life. It was GROSS, don't get me wrong.
But a life lesson as well.

I practically jumped up from my seat at Park Street, rushed off the train and down the tiled hall to the green line. I didn't look back as the train barreled into the tunnel, leaving a sliver of my girlish innocence swirling in the wind behind it.

-Melody

Walk on

2007-01-16T00:16:00.000-05:00

I'm waiting for a table with my dad and my best friend at a Mexican restaurant in my hometown when some dude puts his hands on my waist, let's them linger, and then finally manuevers around me, heading back to his table from the bathroom, I'm assuming. I spin around and say loudly, "DO NOT TOUCH ME!" Surprisingly, he looks back and waits for me to make eye contact. Perhaps drunkenly (not really the point here), he says sorry. You know, I don't give a shit, man. You're probably just sorry because you know that's my daddy and you don't want me to tell your wife and kids in your corner booth. Stupid son of a bitch.

Takin' it to the streets

2007-01-11T12:10:00.000-05:00

HollaBackBoston supporter & ally Ryanne went back to confront her harassers yesterday afternoon, and we're cross-posting this Boston native's encounter with her permission. Here's what happened, and here is her original videoblog post.

Click To Play

Kumming & Going

2007-01-08T01:01:00.000-05:00

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Dear God, I'm sick of this.

So I'm driving through Iowa, which has gas stations called Kum & Go. Um, yeah. And I stop to get some gas and a very unfortunate burrito because it's the middle of Iowa (not to mention the middle of the night), and I'm hungry. I try to give the seemingly weird dude behind the counter the benefit of the doubt since he is stuck as a late night convenience store clerk.

Wrong idea. I said hello, and immediately he asked me if I was ready for the weekend. What does that mean? I don't even know what day it is, I'm in middle America, and I'm eating gas station food.

Then he said, "So where are you from?" Is it that obvious? "I live in Boston." I really have to learn to stop offering people information, but you will see in a moment why it doesn't matter what I say. He presses, "But where are you from?" "I drove in from L.A.," I replied, getting annoyed. "Are you from L.A.?" I finally explain that no, I'm from the Midwest and actually used to live in Iowa. "What year did you graduate from college?" By now, I'm completely fed up. He takes this opportunity to inspect my credit card (a lesson: pay overly attentive pervs in cash, ladies) and looks up at me as he exclaims, "Your name sounds like a porno name!" It's not, asshole. It's my real name. "Is that why you came from L.A.? Is this a porno name?" "Can I nuke my burrito in the microwave?" I asked as I walked towards the back counter, trying to speed up my exit.

I figured he would stay behind his platform. Again, wrong assumption. He walks over to me, carrying a newspaper he has decided to give me. He's muttering something about the women on the front of it, saying they look like me, and at some point during all of this, he says, "You sure are a cute little thing."Can you please keep your person and your Kum & Go vest behind your dingy little counter, dickwad? I'm trying to warm my hideous meal and leave.

Finally, the bell dings, and I grab my overheated burrito. It's burning my hand, but I'm trying desperately to get out of the door with my bottled coffee, water, that stupid newspaper, and some fake Mexican food for the rest of the night's sojourn. As I'm struggling with the door and the knowledge that this man knows my real name, which is inconveniently plastered all over the Internet for reasons that are the exact opposite of "porno", he calls to me one last time, "I sure do hope to meet you again someday." Sir, you couldn't pay me to come back to your little shop of horrors, and if you have any sense, I'd suggest you stay where you are.

- B

Anchors AWAY!

2006-12-18T00:03:00.000-05:00

Of course, the one night I forget my camera phone at home...

A.
I was riding the Green Line to Park St. with one of my guy friends, and as we sat down on the train, we began conversing with this very friendly girl across from us who wanted to talk about colleges nearby, where we were from, etc. She was alone, wearing jeans/sweatshirt and explained that she was a freshman on her way to a party. The next stop, two guys got on, and proceeded to both grip the pole right over her, hovering while they looked at her, (no one was sitting on either side of her), and then they started dropping comments to her, and she eventually looked across at us and rolled her eyes.

B.
Meanwhile, we hear a commotion at the far end of the T and notice this group of navy officers being loud and trying to talk to other women squished next to them (and we also see the telltale rolling of the eyes for the second time that night, from one of the women as she turned to face away from them).

My guy friend, our new freshman buddy, and I finally get off at our stop. I begin telling her about this website - and she immediately responds to us:

C. and D.
"Oh, wow. What a coincidence, b/c some other guy just full-on grabbed my ass the other night...and I fucking HATE that; it's so gross!! I was like..." but then, MID-sentence, one of the navy officers walked right up to her, between us, and eye-fucked her up and down while reaching out to grab her hand as he said, "Well, aren't YOU BEAUTIFUL."

We all kind of paused, stunned; then I said incredulously, "I can't even believe this happening again," before I stepped in front of the guy and obnoxiously waved
"um, BYE!!!" in front of his face. He gave me this weird look and then thankfully just walked away to catch up with his entourage. As if I was the one out of line!

All of this occurred within about 5 minutes. WTF. But we all got the point: it's more than just a coincidence. It happens constantly. Exhibit A. B. C. and D. Even in the middle of public conversations about it!!

-M

Never safe

2006-12-06T00:16:00.000-05:00

Tonight around 10 PM, on a train back to her apartment in Brooklyn, a hooded man seated next to my best friend, a 22 year old woman, whispered in her ear "I am going to follow you when you get up." He did follow her, just a step behind, up the subway steps of her stop and out onto the street. With amazing clarity in a life-threatening moment, she stepped inside a bodega, while he stood outside, waiting for her, and was fortunate to find a couple who were willing to walk her the few steps from the market to her apartment door. When they exited the bodega, the hooded man was still there, waiting for his (potential) victim. Unfortunately, it took the help of two people--a woman to make her feel safe, and a man to protect her-- to allow this woman to arrive home unharmed.

The most important part of this is that my friend is safe, but I feel such anger and rage that men like this, who derive such a false, disgusting sense of power from physically and sexually threatening women in public (or private), can make strong, smart, powerful women like my friend doubt their decision to live alone if they choose, to live free and independent lives, or to merely live at all. We're all under threat, and it's so completely and utterly unacceptable. I am completely disgusted, and very concerned for my friend.

-R.P.
Somerville, MA

Hop on over

2006-11-30T02:43:00.000-05:00

My roommate and I were having a "guys are creeps" night when we decided around midnight we needed breakfast. And a total stranger, a strange one at that, decided to more than prove our opinion to be the correct one. We decided to run over to the IHOP on route 60 in Revere and grab a midnight pancake breakfast.

L and I started talking about pets, I own the house, and was letting her know that she could obtain just about any kind of pet she wanted. Except for cats, which neither I, or my current pets, are fond of.

Suddenly an older man (older even than this forty year single lady) leaned toward us and said, "Once when my ex-wife and I were making love, her cat bit me." We were both stunned and could not believe what this man said! Did he think we were going to offer him sex or share our worst pairing stories? In an IHOP! at midnight! I gave him my best, you suck and should die stare and said in a voice loud enough for the entire diner to hear.

"Let's just pretend you DID NOT just say something so disgusting to two ladies you DO NOT even know!"

The restaurant paused for a minute, and he grabbed his bill and rushed to the front door, stopping long enough to pay for his uneaten food.

Thanks so much to the waitress who came over a second later to let us know that he had a tendency to bother woman in the restaurant. And to the person who put him there, also knowing there was a good chance we would be offended by him. Thanks for standing together ladies. Creeps like that should be put very far away from all human beings, or banned from the establishment all together. Not allowed to offend at random.

Jan

I am not my grandmother

2006-11-27T04:15:00.000-05:00

But because my gram moved into assisted living a few weeks ago, I had the job of cleaning out her house in Indiana last week. Not too terrible - less so than you'd expect.

Except when I was taking out the trash one afternoon and I hear the LOUDEST whistle ever. I spin around, arms full of bursting plastic bags, and see these two idiots behind the now-closed gas station across the street, leering at me. An entire sack of trash had broken open moments ago, so I've been bending over to pick up discarded former food products, and you're going to yell at my ass? Literally?

This is too much. It's November, I'm wearing a coat, and I'm covered in old food garbage. Ya'll need a hobby.

- small town Indiana

Audience member

2006-11-20T01:10:00.000-05:00

Motherfucker, I am at a house concert to see an aging British rock star and his rocker girlfriend. We are sitting in a stranger's living room, people who have generously opened their homes to us so we can rock. Do not sit that close to me and laugh when you say that you can back off if you're being "too personal". If you have to joke about it, you are.

Mostly, I'd just love for you to stop staring into my blouse when you think I'm not watching. I see everything you're doing, and you're fucking gross, you prick. I am young enough to be your daughter. Go home alone because women like myself are sick of your nasty shit.

- BS

Alone doesn't mean lonely

2006-11-13T18:36:00.000-05:00

Why do I have to tell the dude at the Field in Cambridge the other night that "my man" is outside smoking just to get him to leave my friend and I alone?

He plops down and blurts out: "You two lonely ladies need some company?" He said something else totally weird, but I was too busy trying to get him off of my bench and away from my table to notice.

- Ry

Can I just get my car back?

2006-11-07T04:31:00.000-05:00

People sometimes talk about street harassment as an unfortunate by-product of city living. I got a better one: getting towed.

Nobody enjoys this experience. Nobody. But I really wasn’t prepared to feel so uncomfortable as it progressed. First, I had a cabbie come back to get me after he delivered his previous passenger. He said, “I said to myself, I should go back and see if that beautiful lady is still waiting.” I was so desperate for transportation I went with him, listening to him jabber about helping out a needy young woman all the way. Too bad. Because it really was sort of sweet for him to come back for me (not to mention making it his life’s mission to find the tow lot). I only felt partially preyed on sitting in his cab until I looked over to the van hovering next to us and saw the passenger waving and mouthing kisses to me.

So I got to spend my morning shelling out over a hundred dollars for my stupid parking mistake AND be consistently reminded that the perception of my gender makes me a moving target in this world.

- HA

Winning the battle

2006-11-02T00:47:00.000-05:00

My mom used to repeat this story for me when I was growing up: cousin Debbie was a business woman back in the eighties. Once, on a flight home, she got to her seat in first class, and as she was lifting her bag into the overhead compartment, some businessman ran his hand up her stockinged thigh. She promptly set down her bag and broke his nose with her fist. As he was sputtering through the blood, she said calmly, "Now go home and explain THAT to your wife." They had to move her seat... but I think she won that round.

- Jess

PSSST!

2006-10-31T00:44:00.000-05:00

Man, do not HISS at me when I walk by!

What does that even mean?!?!

Keep your teeth and your tongue and your sick shit to yourself.

- b

Where the Boys Aren't

2006-10-27T10:09:00.000-04:00

I'm getting in the car with my friend at Brigham Circle when this trio walks by. Right as I notice them, the one in the white cap grabs his crotch and as I look up, probably shocked, I see his sickening smirk.

And you know what my first thought is? Screw the fact that this never happens in front of other men. Why can't this shit EVER happen when they are around so they can witness it too?

- J.T.

Don't touch me! Or them!

2006-10-25T02:25:00.000-04:00

This idiot mofo on the C line decided he would touch every single woman within his reach, asking a variety of questions about money and the time. I saw him reaching my way - around the back of the woman sitting between us - and I tried to dodge but he still caught me. "Don't touch me!" How hard is that? After he seemed to have exhausted his options on our car, he got off to try another green line train. Asshole.

Just one weekend

2006-10-24T10:27:00.000-04:00

All the places I found myself without my cell phone this past weekend:

Scene One: On Tremont Street in Chinatown. Creep eyes me up and down as I pass.

Scene Two: The corner of Berkeley Street and Columbus Avenue. A passerby states, "how's it going, baby." I respond under my breath, "I'm not your baby."

Scene Three: On Mass Ave, right at Central Square. Passing man exclaims, "What's happening, mami."

I'm a piece of meat, a baby, and a mami.

I can't keep up!

And I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have no recourse and I'm back to being a victim again if I don't have a camera on me!

- Steph

Philly says go home!

2006-10-23T00:17:00.000-04:00

you: jerking off your limp dick in your car next to me
me: ready with my camera phone on my bike

go back to your hole.

- CL Philly

Home alone

2006-10-19T03:33:00.000-04:00

So last night, I had my bedroom windows open to let in some fresh air. When I was about to go to bed (fully clothes and bundled up), I decided to close them - it was getting a little bit cold. I raised the shades and closed one window, and three guys on the street heard it. Instead of being normal and just moving along, these three guys took the opportunity to look at me and start yelling things - you know, sweet nothings like, "ooh what you doing?" or "hey, what's up baby?" I gave them a disgusted look and closed the shades and went back to closing the other window and locking my apartment like Fort Knox. You know, when a dude harrasses me on the street, I am at least comforted by the idea that I can scoot into a store if need be - I can get away from him somehow. But when I am in my apartment, by myself - where do I go then? What bastards - now I feel on edge in my own house by my own windows.

Rantin' to Craig

2006-10-17T00:20:00.000-04:00

A holla yanked from the Best Of section, CraigsList Portland:

You thought you were looking pretty smooth this afternoon as you strutted your stuff down 5th avenue, repeatedly looking behind you and eyeing the innocent young girl that was trying to mind her own business. After about six or seven times of stopping and turning around to stare, you pulled a fast one and decided to let her pass you, allowing yourself the convenience of staring at her ass as you made your way down the sidewalk. There you walked, breathing heavily like a creepy pervert with asthma, getting your fill of an ass so young it could easily be your daughter's. You didn't notice the quickness in the girl's pace as you began hitting on her (while her heels once made a soft click...click on the pavement, they were now at a more persistent click-click-click, as she attempted to avoid you. You have no idea how hard it is to speedwalk in heels!).

You asked the girl if she knew where the nearest leather shop was. You've got some boots that need work. You know, motorcycle boots. You have a motorcycle. You like to ride motorcycles. Does she?

Your efforts were thwarted as your victim darted sideways into an office building, escaping further harassment by mere seconds.

- Dose of Reality

Fighting back

2006-10-13T11:11:00.000-04:00

I grew up in Boston, worked in Boston, and have had run-ins with these sick bastards. I wish I had done what my Mom's friend did. They worked at Tuft's Medical Center when the Combat Zone was in full swing. They went up towards Filene's for lunch break, and some perv pinched her friend's rear. That little five-footer turned, round-housed him in the face, and cussed him out.

- Terry

Bulls Eye

2006-10-11T00:46:00.000-04:00

I was alone, waiting for the train. Next to me, there was a man visibly stroking his pants, what was obviously the shaft of his penis. I asked him what he was doing, and he continued to stroke. And then I said, "Why are you masturbating in front of me?"

He said, "All you people think all of my people are bad, but I'm not whacking off, I'm just adjusting my weapon."

I had made NO reference to his race. He looked at me, made an assumption about my race, then used the tactic of assuming I was racist, in order to justify masturbating in front of me in public.

And then he said, "What? You want to see me masturbate?" And I said, "NO" and got on the train.

Funny that he referred to his penis as a weapon. That is exactly the way that I felt.

-Larken

Takes a lickin'...

2006-10-09T03:15:00.000-04:00

Coolidge Corner, late Saturday, fellas standin in the back of their black truck in front of JP Licks - why would you stand in your truck bed on a main street in the middle of the night...? Whatever. As we drive past and stare at their strange antics, one throws up a peace sign - and then STICKS HIS TOUNGE BETWEEN HIS FINGERS. No thank you, fucker!!!! ARGH!!!!!

- from A. Rock Cit-ay

Training Day

2006-10-07T00:51:00.000-04:00

Watched some dude in a red and white shirt check this girl OUT as she walked by him at the St. Mary's T stop. His whole head turned and his smirk followed her as she plodded along, listening to headphones, probably unaware that she was being scammed on. I tried to get his pic but the trains kept pulling up and getting in the way. Wish these fuckers would leave us alone.

Doggy style

2006-10-04T01:55:00.000-04:00

I live at Mass Ave and Beacon and on my way to Simmons College, where I go to school, the construction workers are usually pretty quiet. But some electrical worker (I think?) at East Charlesgate and Comm Ave, right before the ramp I walk up to get to class, insists on infantalizing me with: "Morning sweetie" with this dirty wink. Gross. Address me as a human being and not the daughter you imagine molesting when you're by yourself at home. I told him in a firm, 'no NO' voice I used with dogs who need training: "Don't call me sweetie."

-Alexis R.

Thank you

2006-10-03T17:43:00.000-04:00

...for making me hate myself.

I'll admit it: when I was a teen, I used to wish I had big boobs. My Barbie had had them, my best friend had them, models and actresses had them, heck, even my mom had them. They were an intrinsic part of what made a girl pretty and, like any other normal teenage girl in America, I wanted that. Eventually, genes (thanks, Mom) and some late-college weight gain kicked in, and now I have them. And all I want now is to give them back!

Walking up Tremont Thursday afternoon in a red A-tank and *sweatshirt* (not at all revealing thankyouverymuch), a "man" (sorry, I have trouble attributing "manliness" to this joke of a specimen) walking his tiny dog in the approaching direction slowed practically to a stop to have a conversation with my chest. I don't know what he was saying to it, I just know that my face was not involved. I'm pretty certain my chest made no reply to him, but I know for a fact that my mouth said "Fuck you." By that point (it took me a moment to get over some shock before I responded), he had moved on.

As I continued up Tremont, around and down where it turns into Cambridge, I passed another man who decided to leer at my chest. As he turned his head toward my chest (not me--my chest), he slowed down in his gait, not enough as that first guy, but definitely enough to give me the creeps. He made ME feel dirty! Just for existing!!!

I started wishing that I had never developed; I began fantasizing about binding my chest just so my boobs wouldn't be so *present*. More and more, I've found myself hating my body because it's bringing me unwanted attention, attention that makes me feel as if perhaps I'm the dirty one, not these sick perverts I keep encountering on the street.

And then I realized that I shouldn't hate what God and nature gave me. I shouldn't hate my body: it's part of who I am, whether I like it or not...or whether these perverts want to make me somehow ashamed of it or not. It's a difficult task to reverse an attitude that's slowly been ingrained in me for years and years. In the meantime, I hope I'm quicker to tell these jerks to "fuck off!"

-robyn

Not Lost In Translation: It's Sexual Harassment

2006-10-02T00:30:00.000-04:00

I was standing in line to get food at a takeout place in Porter, and as I am trying to place my order, the words "May I please have a regular...." barely make it out of my mouth before I'm interrupted by the man who is supposed to be helping me. He starts saying, "Oh, I haven't seen you before, do you live nearby?" At first, I just laughed nervously and shrugged it off, said politely that I didn't speak a lot of Spanish (that isn't exactly true, and he could tell since I said it in Spanish, but I was hoping he'd take the hint: I speak the same language, I know what you're saying, so don't mess with me!). I continued to try to order. No luck, though, the man wouldn't quit.

He keeps talking in this sleazy tone, saying things under his breath that I wish I hadn't understood, while he repeatedly looks me up and down.

Then he says to me, "What's your name?" I'm frustrated, so I say back firmly and loudly, "I don't have a name." And the man says, "Oh! No name!? But you must have a name, muchachita (little girl)."

I'm in my mid-twenties. I'm not a little girl. At this point, both the cashier and the previous customer (another man, standing right next to me), both look blankly at me and him, and yet say absolutely nothing. Then they look down at the floor when I try to give them a look that says: "I'm being harassed, here, and you both know it."

I refused to answer anything else, and I tried to stop listening to what he was saying about me, and to think about something else instead. I just wanted to get my stupid food and get out of there as fast as possible. I will not be going back again.

-Anne

Don't You Dare Stare

2006-09-29T00:18:00.000-04:00

Another Holla cropped from the Impersonals of the Improper Bostonian:

This is for all the old geezers on Boylston that can't let a skirt walk by every morning when I walk to work. Dream on honey, but do yourself (and me, and all of us) a favor and try to keep your head from swinging 360 degrees as a hardworking female crosses the sidewalk. Here's a suggestion: If you absolutely cannot control your neck muscles (for which you should seek medical attention), exercise your eyelids and close them!

- Damsel in Distress

Takin' the FREE outta freeway!

2006-09-27T00:40:00.000-04:00

I swear I attract these people.

As I was running errands, I decided to roll my car windows all the way down to enjoy the perfect weather outside. All was well, and I stopped at a 4-way intersection - lots of cars - carpool time at a nearby school. So I am slowly creeping ahead, and a man clearly on the job in a truck in the next lane takes the opportunity (from his wide open window) to yell "DUMB BITCH!!!" (or something that rhymes with dumb) as I am slowly passing him by. I did a double take as he drove away, and wish I could have taken a picture at that moment. But then I had a good laugh when I thought about how I wished I could say to him, "Call me a dumb bitch all you want, dude... I'm NOT the one driving like you!" Oh to dream.......

Getting Dirty at the Laundry

2006-09-25T00:03:00.000-04:00

A guy at a public laundry, was standing in the doorway, huffing and grunting and rocking - leaving not much to the imagination of what he was doing - while my friend was standing a few feet away inside, trying to wash her clothes. He kept looking in at her through the crack in the door.

How creepy is that?! It's a public laundromat!!

JERK OFF AT HOME.

-Elizabeth

If only I could read minds...

2006-09-22T00:17:00.000-04:00

Pass these two fuckers on Mt. Auburn Street in Cambridge last week. One says, as my friend and I walk by, "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" The other responds, "Huh, yeah..." Thanks, fuckers, but we can come up with our demented fantasies if we want. We don't need yours.

- Monica & Karlie

Harrassed in 1 hour or less or your money back.

2006-09-21T00:21:00.000-04:00

At the end of June I took a trip to Boston from Montreal in order to take a language class for 3 weeks. I had never been to Boston and I was both excited and anxious about the trip as I have never been on a trip out of Canada by myself. I was finding my way around quite well, despite the maze like design of the Boston subway system and I got on to the Red Line with no problem, but unfortunately I didn't know that the line splits and I'd picked the wrong train. To switch directions and go back to get the correct line, I got off the train and stood on the platform. While waiting, I saw a man hugging a woman (his girlfriend, I presume) and at some point he noticed me too. Very shortly the train came and I dragged my luggage on to the train and found a seat. At the same time I noticed the man detangle himself from his girlfriend and start walking toward my car. He got on at the end of the car and started walking toward me, his girlfriend following closely behind. The whole time he was leering at me, walking slowly by trying to get me to notice him. I briefly looked at him, then at his girlfriend thinking to myself why would you do that in front of your girlfriend and then I turned in order to mind my own business and concentrated on figuring out how to get to the proper station. That's when it got weird.

He sat at the other end of the car and started yelling loudly, I thought he was talking to his girlfriend so I looked over quickly and went back to minding my own business; it didn't look like she was in danger. But he kept on yelling so much so that everyone started looking at him. After a while he started describing what I was wearing saying "I hate people like that, think they are all that, with your striped shirt". I thought to myself 'oh sh*t I'm wearing a striped shirt'. At that point I realized that all this time he was talking to me and I got really freaked out. The way he was talking it sounded like he could get violent. He was saying things like he would beat people like me up and we didn't know him, how he stomps on people. I looked over again to see if I was in any immediate danger, and I could have sworn that his girlfriend was trying to restrain him. That was when he started barking at me. Lucky for me the stop finally came and I got off that train in record time. I had been in Boston for about an hour and I had already felt threatened enough to want to leave. I don't think it was my fault, but I cannot help trying to figure out what I did to make him so mad.

Debbie

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

2006-09-20T00:54:00.000-04:00

Hollas are everywhere. This one comes to us from the Improper Bostonian:

To the guy at Embassy: You're the reason I never go to clubs. My girlfriends and I were dancing in a circle off to the side of the dance floor. We were innocently shaking what our mommas gave us, singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away" and generally enjoying a girls' night out. Seeing as we made up the majority of the heterosexual female population that night, you homed in on us. You came up behind my friend, and she indulged you for a bit, then gave us a sign and we helped her escape. But you wouldn't be deterred. You make your way around the circle and snuck up behind me. I moved away, but being the persistent pest you are, you followed. I moved again and you stayed a few steps behind, remaining there for a good portion of the night, bouncing awkwardly to the music and staring hungrily at our circle. Maybe if you'd asked before you grabbed us from behind, you would have had a chance. You could also try being less creepy in general. Thanks a bunch.

- In Hiding

My Boots Are Sacred.

2006-09-19T03:04:00.000-04:00

So, I just got this new pair of boots. They were a gift from my mother. They were on sale. They're black, knee high, with laces, a rounded toe, and zippers up the sides. And I confess that as a fashion addict, I am just tickled that we are teetering on the edge of boot season. Oh, yes. I love my boots.

So I decided, today, to bust them out early. A maiden voyage, if you will. I step out onto the street and pause at a stoplight and BAM! two seconds go by:

"You gonna FUCK ME with those boots later?"

After I shook my head and thought - here we go, I suddenly became furious b/c I had to wait there next to him for the stupid light to change, and so I waited and waited and finally yelled:

"Not in your goddamn pathetic lifetime!!"

as soon as the cross walk illuminated, and then I hurried across the street. I turned back once, and he was still standing there, gaping after me.

-Michelle

Snakes on a train!

2006-09-18T00:46:00.000-04:00

I'm riding home on the T from a birthday party on Saturday night. At the Hynes/ICA stop, a TON of people get on the subway, which means the train stands by for a good minute or two. I see these dudes sitting on a bench in the station but look away, hoping it isn't what I think. Wrong. As the doors close, I glare back (just in case), and sure enough, one is nodding his head and grinning at me like I'm just there, on display for him to take in. I didn't even have time to snap his picture as the train moseyed on into the tunnel system.

- Keren

Celebrity status?

2006-09-15T01:32:00.000-04:00

I saw this man at the Atlanta airport a while back. What first struck me, obviously, but his sheer size. 7 feet plus.... I am a good 2 feet shorter. Then a lovely baggage handler came up to him to shake his hand (this is when I figured out he was famous for something), and this huge dude REFUSED to shake his hand. Flat out refused. I was appalled. Finally, a bunch of people start coming around to take his picture and meet him. He never smiles, he looks down (literally and figuratively) on all these adoring fans (lots of Friday night smackdown fans in the airport that day). Then, the real kicker... without thinking twice about it, he turns in my direction (I was only standing like 3 feet away from him) and starts doing the typical male reality check. Like he was shopping for melons! People were taking his picture for heaven's sake!!!! I was initially shocked at how rude he was to people, but then even more shocked at the fact that he had no qualms about turning towards someone two feet shorter and start grabbing his balls for dear life. Guys - if it's that bad, take it to the bathroom. I manage to make it through a day without scratching myself in front of an audience!!!!!
-pr.

And YOU sound like an ASSHOLE tonight!

2006-09-14T00:05:00.000-04:00

I left work Sunday afternoon at 5 and was heading down Charles Street to the T. I passed the Beacon Hill Pub and an elder gentleman smoking outside who greeted me with a "hello." I responded as cordially, and sure enough after passing him, he comments, "You look glorious tonight." I step off the curb to cross the street, but pause to reach for my phone. The man has already moved on to harassing the female passerby behind me who is politely declining his request for conversation. He exclaims, "You owe me a few lines!" She again declines his requests to which he replies, "Don't yell at me, yell at this woman!" pointing to me as I snap his picture.

Sir, nobody OWES you anything, but we DESERVE to be left alone!

- Hilary

"It's Friday night and I feel alright"

2006-09-12T00:14:00.000-04:00

Well, we were feeling okay until we met these jokers. Once again, holla'ed at for simply walking. Nothing really special to report. Just that these two guys in Central Square decided to snicker about and whistle at us after we had walked by them. We were able to snap a shot immediately after we heard the whistle, but when we drove by in our car, they had disappeared. This is them and their perch:

Within the same block, we met a young man coming down the steps from his house who said, matter-of-factly, "Hello, ladies." We should have asked him if he could head up the street and inform his neighbors about a proper way to acknowledge and greet women. Otherwise, when will they ever learn?

- Steph & Josie

It can happen to you

2006-09-09T08:50:00.000-04:00

The young men in this car decided to yell and cat-call at almost everyone who went by as they cruised around Copley Square on Friday night. They also took time to yell at a couple of people who clearly belonged to oppressed groups. Sometimes it has nothing to do with whether or not you're a woman; any historically marginalized person will do as long as they can direct their outbursts somewhere.

- Angie

Workin 9-5

2006-09-05T00:02:00.000-04:00

I can't take my boss's picture because I still have to see him every day. And do I feel unsafe when he looks down my shirt when he stands way over me and orders me to do something totally stupid? Not exactly. But I do feel like there's a fucked up power dynamic that he either doesn't understand or doesn't care to fix. What can I say when he looks at me like that? I told him he had white male priviledge issues once and immediately felt guilty because he works way too much and his wife is dead...I don't know what I'm saying or if this is a holla, but I wish my boss didn't look at me like I'm just a woman, and I wish I felt like I had something to do besides make it possibly worse for everyone by bringing it up.

- B in Boston

Wish I had a stop sign for your mouth...

2006-08-31T00:34:00.000-04:00

This man pulled up next to me as I was stuck in traffic, looked down at my bare thighs - I was indeed daring to wear a skirt - and started FLICKING his tongue at me.

Tongue, out of his mouth, saliva dripping, moving all over the place; you know, like that obscene trucker in "Thelma and Louise" that they keep passing. Now I know first-hand why they finally end up shooting his tires out and blowing up his vehicle.

Since I'm not much for violence, don't own any firearms, and unfortunately wasn't starring in my very own HollaBack film with Geena Davis -- I instead aimed my camera phone to the side, kept my eyes on the road, and snapped him RIGHT as he passed me.

Of course, he was in the middle of partaking in harassment round-two, with a side of Scum Sauce. Too bad, dipshit: How's THIS for a money shot?!!

-Sam

Window shopping

2006-08-28T00:10:00.000-04:00

Having coffee/tea in Harvard square the other night with a gal pal, three dudes walked by and not only stared at us; they did a triple take! I looked over and I got one of the grossest smiles anyone has ever given me. Hi, we're having some beverages. It is NOT that interesting. I chased them down with my camera but they got away. Probably to go bother someone else. Fuckers.

- CB

Wholey Foods!

2006-08-26T09:34:00.000-04:00

Grocery: I'm looking at bulk granola. Some dude next to me seems to be doing the same. As I choose my variety and start scooping it, he mutters, "God bless you, love," and sort of wanders away. Go to hell and stop scoping me while I buy some goddamn cereal, you creep!

- Yaris

You holla-ed at the wrong lady, sir...

2006-08-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

So this man was pacing near Davis Square for several hours, forcing women off the sidewalk into the busy street as they tried to avoid his rants and screams. I have no idea what was going on, but if this isn't the kind of behavior we aim to end, I don't know what is.

Play Quicktime Movie Holla

HOT and BOTHERED in the OC

2006-08-22T00:03:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting at a stoplight in my car on Pacific Coast Highway, on the way to the doctor's office today. Outside my window, I see a cute couple, early 20's guy and gal walking down the street. The girl is wearing a jean skirt and flip flops (this was two minutes from the beach). How sweet. Two other men walking by approach them and pass. These men are in their late fifties. White hair.

One of them does a double-take and I watch his eyes go right down to her ass. Then he turns back and tells his friend, they both stop and turn fully around, and start hitting each other, nodding their heads, making snide remarks and laughing. You know, as if they were a couple of horny, misogynistic teenagers.

At least the girl (and her boyfriend) were turned the other way and didn't notice them. But I did. And I thought, "Don't they have daughters? Unacceptable!!"

-Michelle, Laguna Beach, CA